Mons

Money.
5 letter word.
I still can't comprehend how it causes so much stress in my life. Not only the fact that I don't have any but how it makes me feel when others do. I don't think jealous would be the word to describe. More like anger. No I'm not trying to say I'm a saint when it comes to managing my finances but I'm pretty responsible about it, I try my best not to spend it on things I really don't need. But it just makes me so angry when people aren't responsible about it or complain about the lack of when they've spent it well... Stupidly.
Even though it is beyond my control, it just irks me that it seems some are just not grateful from the assistance that they receive in terms of finances. I'm not trying to turn this into a sob story about how my parents don't help me blah blah but, it just sucks that some people just don't appreciate the help that they do get. And maybe I'm being judgmental and maybe I don't understand that they really are grateful for the help they receive. But, I was taught that if I needed something, I bought it for myself and to use my own judgment for the things I wanted. Now, my parents helped me out with the odd thing if I didn't have the money but if I was buying things that weren't things I actually needed, there was no way they would pay for something I actually needed. And that taught me a valuable lessons about saving and spending.
I think, in a way, I am envious of those who get that financial help. It gives me a little hope that my parents will pull through, even though when I call, they remind me of my frivolous spending that got me to asking them for help in the first place.
And maybe this is just a lesson in itself... Maybe I have to experience doing this on my own and how it changes me as a person. Because I probably wouldn't be the same person as I am today if my parents had helped me more financially.
Maybe.
Maybe not.