Relationships...
I don't think I can even describe them. I don't understand them. They make people go a little crazy. All these emotions begin to surface; jealousy, guilt, love, happiness.
If you're not truly happy, is it worth it?
I truly believe that happiness comes from within. Your divine happiness comes from YOU and only you. Anything that anyone ever says or does to you, it is how you respond to it that determines your emotion.
Everyone always talks about how that person makes you so happy. What would you be without them?
How much work is too much? When is the right time to give up? To let it go?
Would you have to even question that if you were with your "soulmate"
Do they even exist...
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Significant Others
Why do we have this desire to be with someone?
A significant other.
Why do I need to be with someone?
Why has it become so important for people to find their significant others. I'm an individual, I am my own person. I don't need another person to complete me. I am me. Without anyone.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
Don't look at me and pity me because I don't have someone. Just because I don't have a man in my life doesn't mean I'm lonely or I don't have anyone.
I have people. I have important people in my life.
I have the best people I could ever ask for.
So I think it was the Pussycat Dolls that told me
"I don't needa man"
And that's how I'm going to live, I don't need anyone.
Of course, I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with someone that I truly care about but I don't need to make it my life's mission to find that person or obsess over that person. I'm going to live MY life and a lack of a relationship is not going to change that.
End of story.
A significant other.
Why do I need to be with someone?
Why has it become so important for people to find their significant others. I'm an individual, I am my own person. I don't need another person to complete me. I am me. Without anyone.
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
Don't look at me and pity me because I don't have someone. Just because I don't have a man in my life doesn't mean I'm lonely or I don't have anyone.
I have people. I have important people in my life.
I have the best people I could ever ask for.
So I think it was the Pussycat Dolls that told me
"I don't needa man"
And that's how I'm going to live, I don't need anyone.
Of course, I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to spend the rest of my life with someone that I truly care about but I don't need to make it my life's mission to find that person or obsess over that person. I'm going to live MY life and a lack of a relationship is not going to change that.
End of story.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
There will be an end, but you can be prepared
From 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven
#62
One of the great sources of anxiety as we age is that we will never get a chance to do that thing we always wanted to do, or to finish that project we were working on years ago, or to mend the fences that may have fallen into disrepair as our relationships evolved. Don't wait until the end of your life to figure out what you wished you had done. Think of those things now and do them.
Students often will procrastinate. Assign them a paper, with two months to do it, and many will literally wait until the last day, cramming through their readings, making notes, and then charging through the writing. Not a moment of this process is enjoyed. It is a manic effort, with little concern for quality. Students who write their papers in a timely fashion, anticipate what needs to be done, and do the work in an orderly process never feel out of control, and can even enjoy themselves.
We live life like a student writing a paper- either as the procrastinator or the planner. The procrastinator feels out of control, and each passing year is a source of desperation. The planner finishes what needs to be done, and treats each passing year as a sign of accomplishment.
#62
One of the great sources of anxiety as we age is that we will never get a chance to do that thing we always wanted to do, or to finish that project we were working on years ago, or to mend the fences that may have fallen into disrepair as our relationships evolved. Don't wait until the end of your life to figure out what you wished you had done. Think of those things now and do them.
Students often will procrastinate. Assign them a paper, with two months to do it, and many will literally wait until the last day, cramming through their readings, making notes, and then charging through the writing. Not a moment of this process is enjoyed. It is a manic effort, with little concern for quality. Students who write their papers in a timely fashion, anticipate what needs to be done, and do the work in an orderly process never feel out of control, and can even enjoy themselves.
We live life like a student writing a paper- either as the procrastinator or the planner. The procrastinator feels out of control, and each passing year is a source of desperation. The planner finishes what needs to be done, and treats each passing year as a sign of accomplishment.
He's just not that into you...
So, everyone knows about the movie that came out last weekend. A woman learns how guys "work," and how all these "mixed signals" is just a guy saying that he's not interested. She learns that there people who are products of the rule and exceptions.
How do you know whether you're the rule or the exception? Obviously because it was a chick flick, the main character ended up being the exception, big surprise. But we aren't all the exceptions in life. I dated someone a couple years ago and they broke my heart, multiple times. I know that he is a good person and so I held on, he asked me to wait and I did. I thought that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had faith that he would pull through; that he would turn around and sweep me off my feet.
And somehow, I end up in the same situation. I have someone in my life that cares about me and is someone that I care very much about as well. Yet, we can't be together. Is this situation so different than the first? I keep telling myself it is, that we are meant to be together but if we were, wouldn't we be? Even though we are no longer together, I have this connection with him. We can spend time together and it's like we've never been apart. I can't even describe it.
I trust him, which is a big deal, I trust very little.
I don't trust a lot of people so is trusting him a huge mistake? And what am I trusting him with?
The Compromise. It seems that I am getting nothing out of this compromise. I am the one worrying that I talk too much, that I am getting in the way of his life. I am the one concerned that I'm just going to get more hurt. And I think the only time I feel good about this situation is when I pretend to ignore it. Which is not right on any level.
I think the only thing different about this situation is that I'm letting my heart break slower than before.
I may not cry over him but it doesn't mean I'm not breaking inside.
So, is he just not into me? I seriously do NOT understand guys. How can you say that you care so deeply about someone and that you don't want to see them hurt yet hurt them in the worst way possible.
Obviously, I have no idea what to do. How can I care about someone so much that breaks my heart yet being with him makes me feel so incredibly happy?
Is this love? Haha, something that makes you so happy and so sad at the same time?
Regardless, I'm going to live my life. I'm going to spend time with the people I KNOW make me the exception; I know who truly loves me and that's what really matters.
I know how to prioritize my life and although I won't forget about this moron, I won't dwell on him either because I love myself more than that.
I never know if my blogs actually make sense or not, *shrug shoulders*
How do you know whether you're the rule or the exception? Obviously because it was a chick flick, the main character ended up being the exception, big surprise. But we aren't all the exceptions in life. I dated someone a couple years ago and they broke my heart, multiple times. I know that he is a good person and so I held on, he asked me to wait and I did. I thought that this was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I had faith that he would pull through; that he would turn around and sweep me off my feet.
And somehow, I end up in the same situation. I have someone in my life that cares about me and is someone that I care very much about as well. Yet, we can't be together. Is this situation so different than the first? I keep telling myself it is, that we are meant to be together but if we were, wouldn't we be? Even though we are no longer together, I have this connection with him. We can spend time together and it's like we've never been apart. I can't even describe it.
I trust him, which is a big deal, I trust very little.
I don't trust a lot of people so is trusting him a huge mistake? And what am I trusting him with?
The Compromise. It seems that I am getting nothing out of this compromise. I am the one worrying that I talk too much, that I am getting in the way of his life. I am the one concerned that I'm just going to get more hurt. And I think the only time I feel good about this situation is when I pretend to ignore it. Which is not right on any level.
I think the only thing different about this situation is that I'm letting my heart break slower than before.
I may not cry over him but it doesn't mean I'm not breaking inside.
So, is he just not into me? I seriously do NOT understand guys. How can you say that you care so deeply about someone and that you don't want to see them hurt yet hurt them in the worst way possible.
Obviously, I have no idea what to do. How can I care about someone so much that breaks my heart yet being with him makes me feel so incredibly happy?
Is this love? Haha, something that makes you so happy and so sad at the same time?
Regardless, I'm going to live my life. I'm going to spend time with the people I KNOW make me the exception; I know who truly loves me and that's what really matters.
I know how to prioritize my life and although I won't forget about this moron, I won't dwell on him either because I love myself more than that.
I never know if my blogs actually make sense or not, *shrug shoulders*
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Mons
Money.
5 letter word.
I still can't comprehend how it causes so much stress in my life. Not only the fact that I don't have any but how it makes me feel when others do. I don't think jealous would be the word to describe. More like anger. No I'm not trying to say I'm a saint when it comes to managing my finances but I'm pretty responsible about it, I try my best not to spend it on things I really don't need. But it just makes me so angry when people aren't responsible about it or complain about the lack of when they've spent it well... Stupidly.
Even though it is beyond my control, it just irks me that it seems some are just not grateful from the assistance that they receive in terms of finances. I'm not trying to turn this into a sob story about how my parents don't help me blah blah but, it just sucks that some people just don't appreciate the help that they do get. And maybe I'm being judgmental and maybe I don't understand that they really are grateful for the help they receive. But, I was taught that if I needed something, I bought it for myself and to use my own judgment for the things I wanted. Now, my parents helped me out with the odd thing if I didn't have the money but if I was buying things that weren't things I actually needed, there was no way they would pay for something I actually needed. And that taught me a valuable lessons about saving and spending.
I think, in a way, I am envious of those who get that financial help. It gives me a little hope that my parents will pull through, even though when I call, they remind me of my frivolous spending that got me to asking them for help in the first place.
And maybe this is just a lesson in itself... Maybe I have to experience doing this on my own and how it changes me as a person. Because I probably wouldn't be the same person as I am today if my parents had helped me more financially.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
5 letter word.
I still can't comprehend how it causes so much stress in my life. Not only the fact that I don't have any but how it makes me feel when others do. I don't think jealous would be the word to describe. More like anger. No I'm not trying to say I'm a saint when it comes to managing my finances but I'm pretty responsible about it, I try my best not to spend it on things I really don't need. But it just makes me so angry when people aren't responsible about it or complain about the lack of when they've spent it well... Stupidly.
Even though it is beyond my control, it just irks me that it seems some are just not grateful from the assistance that they receive in terms of finances. I'm not trying to turn this into a sob story about how my parents don't help me blah blah but, it just sucks that some people just don't appreciate the help that they do get. And maybe I'm being judgmental and maybe I don't understand that they really are grateful for the help they receive. But, I was taught that if I needed something, I bought it for myself and to use my own judgment for the things I wanted. Now, my parents helped me out with the odd thing if I didn't have the money but if I was buying things that weren't things I actually needed, there was no way they would pay for something I actually needed. And that taught me a valuable lessons about saving and spending.
I think, in a way, I am envious of those who get that financial help. It gives me a little hope that my parents will pull through, even though when I call, they remind me of my frivolous spending that got me to asking them for help in the first place.
And maybe this is just a lesson in itself... Maybe I have to experience doing this on my own and how it changes me as a person. Because I probably wouldn't be the same person as I am today if my parents had helped me more financially.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Life
Firstly, it is slightly depressing that this "blogspot" website shows you how many followers you have for you blog. Sadly, I have one! Haha, but I don't really mind. I've had some issues with blogs lately, I find that people are using blogs to desperately attempt to force their messages upon other individuals. In my opinion (no one has to take me seriously, nor do they often), blogs are something for your own personal gain. It allows you to get what is on your chest... Off. It allows you to portray this message with the potential of someone else reading it, not necessarily agreeing with it, but listening and maybe gaining a different perspective. But mainly, I believe "blogging" is for your own mental health really. Writing and expressing your feelings, even if no one is listening, and in my case, my one follower;), this has been proven time and time again to be "therapeutic." So, I will say what I wanna say, when I wanna say it. And it doesn't bother me if anyone reads my message or gets something out of it because in the aspect of my life, I'm selfish, this is for me.
So, like any other student, money has become a number one priority in my life. Unfortunately. I hate it when people complain about money and financial situations all the time and I'm afraid I have no choice but to be that person I hate. But, I hate that something bigger than me legitimately scares me. And I hate that because I try so hard not make money a number one worrisome issue in my life. I believe that you can live a good life without drowning in money. But, it is just so frustrating when I work so hard, 20 hours a week hard, plus school, plus a life... And I'm still so far behind. But then again, it's just who I am, I am not living in constant fear that I won't be able to afford rent or food (yet), but it worries me that my savings account is the lowest its been in a long time. I am the kind of person that saves ... A LOT. Haha, and to see that balance drop... To not have tuition money saved up, it IS scary. And then, it boggles my mind that a lot of students that I know, don't even have a job for part of the year (which is what I have done for the past 2 years). And it makes me question my saving skills, am I really as good as I thought? I hate the way money makes me feel. I think I may go live in the woods with the animals... ?
Now, something that has been bothering me for a while... And I don't even know how to start to get this off my chest. It has been something that I have pushed down and ignored for quite some time and yesterday, it just hit me like a brick wall. I won't go into the details but it has everything to do with respect. I truly believe that people have lost all respect for other people. I constantly see people treating other people like absolute garbage. And I am a true believer that you have to have respect for yourself and that you need to be selfish in the sense that you need to make yourself happy. But, what about all the other people you influence? Every single person in your life are influenced by your actions and your words. I have just started a class on lifespan development and just in the first lecture, we discussed how infants and children react in their early stages of development and how that development affects their later year. When development first was researched, it was a firm belief that development only occurred in the early years. But now, it seems that throughout your entire life, it is your experiences that contribute to your development. Your experiences with other people, the actions and words of other people and yourself is what motivates you to be the individual you are. Of course, there are maaany factors that contribute to who you are, not only what I've just mentioned. But... I personally think that it is important part of being a human being to treat others with respect. Even if their a complete asshole, why shouldn't you treat them with even a little bit of respect? They are only human. We are all in the same world, we are all on the same level. Who says any one person is better than another?
Just a little bit of respect can go a long way.
Maybe I made sense, and maybe not.
So, like any other student, money has become a number one priority in my life. Unfortunately. I hate it when people complain about money and financial situations all the time and I'm afraid I have no choice but to be that person I hate. But, I hate that something bigger than me legitimately scares me. And I hate that because I try so hard not make money a number one worrisome issue in my life. I believe that you can live a good life without drowning in money. But, it is just so frustrating when I work so hard, 20 hours a week hard, plus school, plus a life... And I'm still so far behind. But then again, it's just who I am, I am not living in constant fear that I won't be able to afford rent or food (yet), but it worries me that my savings account is the lowest its been in a long time. I am the kind of person that saves ... A LOT. Haha, and to see that balance drop... To not have tuition money saved up, it IS scary. And then, it boggles my mind that a lot of students that I know, don't even have a job for part of the year (which is what I have done for the past 2 years). And it makes me question my saving skills, am I really as good as I thought? I hate the way money makes me feel. I think I may go live in the woods with the animals... ?
Now, something that has been bothering me for a while... And I don't even know how to start to get this off my chest. It has been something that I have pushed down and ignored for quite some time and yesterday, it just hit me like a brick wall. I won't go into the details but it has everything to do with respect. I truly believe that people have lost all respect for other people. I constantly see people treating other people like absolute garbage. And I am a true believer that you have to have respect for yourself and that you need to be selfish in the sense that you need to make yourself happy. But, what about all the other people you influence? Every single person in your life are influenced by your actions and your words. I have just started a class on lifespan development and just in the first lecture, we discussed how infants and children react in their early stages of development and how that development affects their later year. When development first was researched, it was a firm belief that development only occurred in the early years. But now, it seems that throughout your entire life, it is your experiences that contribute to your development. Your experiences with other people, the actions and words of other people and yourself is what motivates you to be the individual you are. Of course, there are maaany factors that contribute to who you are, not only what I've just mentioned. But... I personally think that it is important part of being a human being to treat others with respect. Even if their a complete asshole, why shouldn't you treat them with even a little bit of respect? They are only human. We are all in the same world, we are all on the same level. Who says any one person is better than another?
Just a little bit of respect can go a long way.
Maybe I made sense, and maybe not.
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