The Truth About Fate

So, here I am, cleaning the kitchen. So I decide to bring in my computer. I plug it in, turn on my itunes and set my screen saver to start almost instantly. My screensaver is a slideshow of all the pictures I have saved on my computer. So music is playing, I am contemplating life as I often do and… It starts; fate perhaps? The first two pictures that catch my eye are the ones that are of me and someone who I cared very deeply about. Someone who was my very best friend and a person that I actually dated for a little while. This person was someone I expected to be by my side for the rest of my life, whether it was as my best friend or something more. But, obviously, it turned for the worst and we could no longer call one another a friend. Just recently, we started “talking” if that’s what you want to call it. I feel like more of an annoying sibling or something along that line. Someone that you will talk to, but only if because you have to and only if I begin the conversation. Anyways, I have about a total of two pictures of this person on my computer. And what are the odds that they come up side by side on a random picture slideshow? What does that even mean, according to fate?
Then, my most recent ex-boyfriend comes up on the screen. Now, this is just torture. It was just yesterday that I saw him for the first time since the breakup. He was standing on a street corner. (Haha, I know what you’re thinking, and that actually makes me feel a little better). And, just the picture of him back in my town… I no longer want to go there. I only go about three times a week, but, I don’t even want to go that small amount. I don’t want to see him. But why? Why don’t I want to see him? Because I’m afraid that he will suck me back in? That, even though, I have put my foot down and even though he broke my heart into a million pieces, I will just let him do it again?
Oh, but it gets worse. Now it’s the music. A song comes on that I know too well. It is a song that a guy friend of mine that we have kind of termed as “our song.” I actually stared at my computer and felt a little like Izzie Stevens from Grey’s Anatomy saying, “seriously? Seriously?”
So, all in all, I now know what fate really means. It doesn’t mean that just because a few pictures come up on your random slideshow and a song shuffled through your itunes (making you relive your past), doesn’t mean that you have to go down memory lane and see what your heart “truly desires.” It just means that I have Dell computer, which explains everything.


I need a new computer.